NO SURPRISES

OK, it might have been the lingering effects of Halloween and too many Snickers, but Seb thought for sure that Radiohead were being a trifle too satanic here...

A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal

You look so tired unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us

I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide

And no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent

This is my final fit
My final bellyache

With no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please

Such a pretty house
And such a pretty garden

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please

Lyrics by Seb

Hard chairs full of jack-o-lanterns

The goblins slowly kill streak

And boos they will not hear

In the satanic happy

Brains come and color me

They don't, they don't speak forever

I'll say the choir likes

Eh ehhh ehhh come and knocks

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises

Satan, satan

This is the final phase of fire

(Wordless moaning and groaning)

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises please

Sad shirt cleaning out

And such a pretty god, oww

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises

No one comes and no one surprises please

A-PUNK

Johanna drove slowly into the city

The Hudson River all filled with snow

She spied the ring on His Honor's finger

Oh-oh-oh

A thousand years in one piece of silver

She took it from his lily-white hand

Showed no fear - she'd seen the thing

In the Young Men's Wing at Sloan-Kettering

Look outside at the raincoats coming, say oh

His Honor drove southward seeking exotica

Down to the Pueblo huts of New Mexico

Cut his teeth on turquoise harmonicas

Oh-oh-oh

I saw Johanna down in the subway

She took an apartment in Washington Heights

Half of the ring lies here with me

But the other half's at the bottom of the sea

Lyrics by Seb

Philanthropists study into the city

A syringe I feel when I beat a pug

I like fingers when I linger, whoa-oa-oa

How many years in one piece of sand

Before she took me in my hand

I like fishing when it seems to be

A piece of honey when I get a ring

Look outside the record's gone, oh

Look outside the record's gone, oh

His eyes are feeling sick when I like them

Ride my huts all the way to Mexico

I took all the harmonicas, oh oh oh

I put my head inside of a soap bar

And then you took our apartment in the Washington soda

The ring lies here with me

The other half's at the bottom of the sea

Look outside the record's gone, oh

Look outside the ring is gone, oh

KISSINGER FOR PRACTICE

Seb is 11. His dad, while not himself an aging hipster doofus, shares musical taste with the aging-hipster-doofus demographic.

The other night, the two were driving home from gymnastics practice and Comfy in Nautica by Panda Bear was streaming on the car stereo. Seb remarked with some degree of bemusement, "I can never understand what they're saying in the lyrics to your music!"

When they reached the driveway, this led to a brief game, wherein Seb's dad played a song verse by verse and asked Seb to verbally transcribe the lyrics as he heard them.

And that brings us to the remit of this site: providing Seb's interpretations of lyrics from a broad array of aging-hipster-doofus favs.

Ever wonder what a pre-teen thinks Mumbly Joe was going on about in Radio Free Europe? Well friend, you've come to the right place...